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Wednesday, 1 December 2010

My Birth Story...

Another gap in my blogging but with good reason I feel :o)

6th November 2010
(the day before my due date)
After my second Stretch and Sweep on the morning of the 7th of November (My due date) I was told that I was 2cm to 3cm dilated and to stay active and upright to get things moving. I had pre-labour pains all day Sunday and on and off for the next few days but I was very worried about becoming the boy who cried wolf (or at least the wife who cried labour) and by Wednesday the 10th of November I had actually said to my hubby that I was sure I was going to be induced and I was just going to come to terms with that in my head and make the best of a bad situation (My induction had been pre-booked for the 20th November)

On the evening of the 10th, hubby and I went to bed (after some "snuggling"). I then woke up at 5:30am in a puddle but as I had got in the habit of rising early with a full bladder I was unsure as to the nature of the "puddle" (was this a very embarrassing accident or was it in fact amniotic fluid),  So after a bathroom break I returned to bed, put down a bath towel and went back to sleep.

I slept until 7am and then had to get up to get my daughter ready for school. I was in some discomfort  when I woke her and I recall saying to her that I thought perhaps the baby would be coming that day. I then went down stairs and started on breakfast. I was busy stirring porridge on the hob and singing along to the "Hairspray" soundtrack to try to distract myself from the increasing pains, I used an app on my mobile phone to time my contractions which were about every 4 to 5 minutes apart and lasting about 1 minute. Suddenly I felt a desperate need for the loo and ran from the kitchen (to worried looks from my Hubby).

Sitting on the loo, I just took time to collect myself and to figure out what was happening. I quickly had to come to terms with the fact that this was DEFINITELY labour, I had my mobile phone with me and called the Community Midwife's office but got a recorded message as it was too early in the morning. I called my mum as we had planned that she could look after my daughter during my labour and then I concentrated on my breathing, and visualised the baby swimming downwards with every contraction. I don't know how long I sat in on the loo for but I know that I was sick a couple of times and then at some point Hubby got worried enough to come and check on me, but I was concentrating so much on the sensations in my body and my breathing that I couldn't find the strength to answer him. He then opened the toilet door to check on me properly and found me slightly panicked and moving between shivers and sweats.

Hubby called the Labour ward at the hospital as we still couldn't get an answer on the Community Midwife's number. They advised that they would alert the Midwife ASAP and get someone to us.

I managed to stand up and lent against the cloakroom sink whilst Hubby fitted my TENS unit to my back and applied extra pressure to the base of my spine during each contraction. Things got painful pretty fast. Contractions had increased to every 2 minutes and were lasting about 1 minute. I know I was getting a bit panicky as I felt that there was just no time to rest between contractions. I recall saying to Hubby that if it carried on like this I might have to transfer to hospital and have and epidural as I didn't think I could cope with much more. I got a bit teary and panicky but all the while I continued to stand and hold on the to edge of the sink and spiral my hips with each contraction, imagining the baby swimming down, down down with each wave of pain.

The Midwives arrived around 8:30am (having first gone to my next door neighbours house) and then my Mum arrived to look after my daughter. Everything is a bit of a blur after that as the Midwives got themselves set up in the living room and my daughter was shuffled off to school with my mum. They managed to get me to let go of the sink (which had become my lifeline) and move though to the lounge.

They needed to examine me to ascertain how far along I was, but getting me into a position to do this proved a bit tricky as my contractions seemed to be coming one on top of the other and I was jabbing the boost button on my TENS like my life depended on it.  It was just before 9am, once I was positioned on a couple of messy mats on the sofa and they were able to give me an internal. I can still recall the amazing feeling of accomplishment and the boost to my will power and energy when they told me that I was already 8cm dilated.

It was all pretty fast and intense from then on. I remember saying it felt like a needed to poo and the Midwife saying that it was fine, that was how it was meant to feel, it was the baby moving down the birth canal and that if I felt like I needed to push then I could go for it. There are no words to describe the feeling you get when you give over control and allow your natural instincts to takes over, letting your body do what it needs to do.

Hubby lit the candles on our pregnancy altar and with my TENS machine on permanent boost, I alternated between locking eyes with him and then closing my eyes and concentrating on the contractions. I never did make it off the sofa (I had always planned to give birth on my hands and knees over the ottoman) with just a few pushes the baby's head was delivered and the Midwife had me pant a couple of times to hold off the next push whilst she checked the shoulders, and then with one more big push the baby was born and placed on my tummy.

I immediately looked down to see whether we had a boy or a girl and was delighted to see that we had a perfect baby boy.

Baby Ozcar Viktor Lysander Bryant, Born at 9:40am, 11th November 2010, weighing 9lbs 5oz

He was put to my breast to suckle whilst the Midwifes injected me with a drug to speed up the delivery of my Placenta (we had agreed to this to limit the likelihood of a Post Partum Hemorrhage).

One of the loveliest things about getting the homebirth was that after the birth I was able to simply relax back on the sofa and marvel at the beautiful child I had given birth too, whilst everyone else just got on with things around me. I was brought a cup of tea, and Ozcar was assessed without ever having to be removed from my sight. The pediatrician visited us later in the day to do the newborn checks, my daughter came home from school to be greeted by a new baby bro and in the evening we allowed a few family to visit.

Even though it was all pretty sudden and intense I wouldn't change it for the world.

Our Family, with new addition, Ozcar Viktor Lysander Bryant
(Born 09:40am - 11th November 2010)

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers

Friday, 5 November 2010

The Final Countdown

Mama & Bean (30th October 2010 - 39weeks)
Apologies for the brief gap in communications but there hasn't been much to report for the last few weeks, just the usual day to day stuff, like every other parent (and teacher) at my daughters school commenting on my size ( this is also often accompanied by the seemingly obligatory exclamation of "Haven't you had that baby yet?!" or the alternative "Are you sure it's not twins?!" ) and daily phone calls from family members eager for news of a new arrival :o)

Since the birth prep class I have had a couple of uneventful check ups with my midwife and one home visit, on the 25th October, from both my midwife and also the Supervisor of Midwives who has given me the go ahead and signed me off on my homebirth - yay! I have been provided with my very own bio hazard bucket for the placenta as I have made it quite clear that I intend to keep it. I have also been entrusted with some vials of oxytocin (which have pride of place in our refrigerator) and some disposable and absorbent "messy mats" for use during delivery. It's all soooo glamorous!

I hadn't seen my midwife since the home visit so I called the surgery to make an appointment as the days and weeks seemed to be passing faster and faster, I was told by the receptionist that the midwife was fully booked until the 10th of November (fat lot of good that would have be, I'm due on the 7th!) but I eventually managed to get an appointment with another midwife (not my regular one) today. it turned out ok though as it was the same midwife who had done my Birth Reflections counseling so at least she knew my background.

The midwife assured me that everything is progressing well (blood pressure normal, pee test normal etc) and Bean is perfectly placed for an imminent delivery.  Because everything seemed to be going so well she then offered me a stretch and sweep whilst I was there which I accepted and I was quite surprised to have her tell me that I had not only lost my mucus plug without noticing a show but I was also 2cm dilated already !!!!

I have been booked in for another sweep on Sunday ( my due date ) but that will be performed at the maternity hospital ( I hope that the midwife is right though as she doesn't think I'll last that long anyway ). They have also booked my induction for 40weeks + 13days and again we are hoping it wont be necessary.

So... 2 days to go until my due date... The final countdown has really begun now :o)

Sunday, 10 October 2010

The Antenatal Class...

Yesterday we had our one and only Antinatal class. To be honest I wasn't bothered that there was only one class but I think for first timers it is a heck of a lot of information to take in at one session (for us this was an all day affair - 10am to 3pm on saturday).

According to the NHS website... "Antenatal classes (sometimes called parentcraft classes) can help you to prepare for your baby’s birth, and learn to look after and feed your baby. They can help you to keep fit and well during pregnancy, and give you confidence and information. You can learn about the different arrangements for labour and birth, and the choices available to you. This can help you to make your own birth plan. You may also meet some of the people who will look after you during labour."

I guess they fulfilled this criteria but it was a bit of a whirlwind tour of labour, birth and beyond and with the 6 or so couples on the course not knowing each other and not really having any reason to interact meant it was a bit of an awkward morning, not helped by the fact that I was (as usual) the odd one out... only one on her second baby, most pregnant, only one having a home birth, only on who seemed to know anything about labour, only rhesus negative mother, etc etc I could go on... lol!

What I did get out of the day though was a greater confidence that things HAD changed since I had my daughter 8 years ago, the hopsital now seems a bit more woman centred (although I suspect that this still depends upon which midwife you get on the day) and they have impelmented as standard many of the "alternative" techniques which we seen as quirky back when I was last on the labour ward (things like not labouring on your back... they now put less emphasis on getting you into a bed and even have special beds which allow you to be in a more seated, rather than lying possition, even if you have an epidural.

Hubby, (having not been though this before) said that the class was useful in clarifying for him some of the medical jargon and terminology which you come across and which he now has a better grasp of.

As we had already been to the Bumps, Mums & Dad's 4 week course at the Sure Start centre we were pretty up on most of the theory anyways but both felt that with only 5 weeks to go it was almost too late to be doing the classes and they would have better served us at around the 20 - 25 week mark.

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Midwife Appointment... 5 weeks to go!

I discussed the terrible consultant appointment with my Midwife who was really understanding, she can see my point of view and whilst she has to inform me of all the possible "risks" to choosing a home birth she is happy to support me in my decision. She also agreed that the consultants seemed a little blinkered but as I am healthy and open to the idea of transferring to hospital should the need arise I think it will be fine.

The next time I see the Midwife will be at my house when she comes to asses the space we have for the home birth and to give me my home birth kit... it is all getting a bit exciting now :o)

I am now starting to write and re-write my birth plan and have opted to write 2 separate plans, one for my home birth and one as an "in case of emergency" for if I have to transfer to hospital (only a 6 minute journey for us by car so even quicker by ambulance I'm sure)

I feel that by separating out the plans in this way I will be able to fully prepare myself for the possibilities of going into hospital without seeing it as a foregone conclusion which might cloud my otherwise positive outlook on the labour and delivery.

In the mean time, "Bean" is still pretty lively and enjoys a good kick of my ribs from time to time :o) I have also been experiencing lots of Braxton Hicks contractions so hopefully this all points to everything moving along nicely

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Weight Loss & Bump Gain

I had a great night out for my birthday, although I did probably over do the dancing and was very achy the next day - opps!

I saw my midwife on the 23/09/10 and she confirmed thst I had lost a little over 4kg since my booking in appointment, and whilst she herself was not concerned about it she understoop my worries. She measured my bump which was slightly above average made me an appointment to have another scan just to check that the "Bean" was developing well and was neither too small or too large for my dates.

I saw the consultant at the hospital today (30/09/10) - I REALLY don't like them!!!! They appear to be ossessed with my having a child who is too big for me to birth at home and keep on at me about the risks of shoulder dystocia ( ) which I really began to feel they were using as a direct attack at me. I have no history of dystocia from my previous pregnancy dispite my daughter being 8lb 12oz (3.97kg) and I just felt that the consultants weren't listening to me.

I went down for my scan which showed the "Bean" to be just a little bit above average but still well within the normally accepted limits for a healthy pregnancy and with a current estimated weight of 5lb 3oz (2.35kg) - this news seemed to annoy the consultants who then had very little reason to refuse me my home birth, however they were not giving up and chose to bring up the Post Natal Depression I had suffered after the birth of my daughter, I just pointed out that not only did I get through that period of my life without medication but thatmmy life now was so far removed from my life 8 years ago that I felt that a comparison was not possible to make.

Needless to say Hubby and I left the hospital happy that "Bean" was well but p*ssed at the consultants for their poor attitudes.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Diets, Diabetes and Dresses...

6 weeks after starting the new Gall Stone Diet I can honestly say that it seems to be workng!

I have not had any more attacks which is AMAZING and everyone says I look really well.

I am slightly concerned about my continued weight loss but none of the medical professionals seem worried (in fact, dispite my mentioning it to my midwife and to the GP no-one has weighed me since I went into hospital when I was diagnosed back in July). I have used our Wii Fit at home which confirmed that I am currently at the lowest weight I have been for over a year!!!! And that's with a 31 week old baby bump - go figure :S

I had another brief trip to the Maternity Hospital this monday which was fine (If boring). I had had to refrain from eating from 9pm the previous evening and drink nothing but water.

Hubby & I Arrived at 9:15 for my 9:30 appointment and got seen pretty quick. They took a blood sample from my right arm and then gave me a glucose drink (VERY sweet, but tasted ok - orangy) then came the boring bit... sitting about in the waiting room for 2 hours whilst the drink got to work (I was glad to have Hubby with me for company) then after the 2 hours were up I was called back in and they took more blood from my other arm. This then all went for testing and on Wednesday I got the call saying it was all clear - *Grin*

I am soooo glad that the Diabetes test came back clear as I don't think I could have coped with a limited sugaar diet as well as limited fat.

This Wednesday was also my 31st Birthday and I was spoilt rotten by friends and family who showered me with good wishes and thoughtful gifts. I am having a proper celebration with friends on Saturday night when a group of us are going to a club in So'ton.

This will probably be my last outing before the Bean arrives and so I wanted to look special, but what does a VERY pregnant alternative woman wear to a rock club when none of her clothes fit???

I have trawled the internet for "Gothic Maternity Clothes" and found a big gap in the market (perhaps it's time to get my sewing machine back out and to start a little home business) the best the internet had to offer was soe huge t-shirts with "interesting" slogans on ("Baby Goth On Board" etc)

In the end (after a very dissapointing shopping trip with a fellow witchy-mama) I opted for a long stretchy dress from New Look which was from their "Inspire" collection (there was very little on offer in their maternity range)

So tonight I plan to have a bit of pampering followed by and early night in preparation for tomorrow...

...I'll let you know how my evening goes :o)

Friday, 30 July 2010

So... It's not Gastritus after all...

Well at least I know what's wrong with me now...

Another bad "Gastritus" attack on Wednesday night had me calling Hubby at work and asking him to take me to A&E again the pains were just so bad that I am not ashamed to say I wanted the relief that I got last time from hospital strength meds.

Once again the staff at A&E were brilliant and I was seen straight away, but I was in a pretty bad way, by the time we got there, so they put me straight on to a drip and gave me Paracetamol followed by Morphine (seriously trippy and just a little scary) to take away the pain and to calm me down.

I was diagnosed as being hypotensive which was a bit concerning so spent some time hooked up to an ECG monitor and then had to make the decision as to whether to go ahead with the x-ray which the doctor wanted to do. We eventually concented to an x-ray (the purpose of which was to check for perforations in my bowel) and were glad to be told that everything looked ok.

The consultant then said that he susspected Gall Stones and wanted to do an ultrasound of my Gall Bladder in the morning... so off to the ward I go to spend a night in hospital

I didn't get much sleep though as it was about 3am by the time I got to the ward (I did get my own room though which must have been to keep me away from the other sick peeps because of my pregnancy) the ward staff then had to book me in and do all of the usual checks like blood pressure and temperature and before I knew it the sun was up and the doctors had begun their morning rounds.

I spent the morning trying not to think about food (as I was nil by mouth) and using my mobile to research Gall Stones ( )

I went down for my ultra sound at about 10am and the scan confirmed the existance of several Gall Stones which was worrying but I was just glad that I finally had got a correct diagnosis and could now look at preventative measures.

The consultant has said that I will have to have my Gall Bladder removed after the Bean is born but that until then I will have to be on a REALLY low fat diet... this includes:

Things To Avoid
  • Butter, Margarine, olive oil, sunflower oils, lard, suet
  • All fried foods
  • Full cream or Jersey milk, evaporated and condensed milk, full-fat cream inc. soft cheese, cheddar, stilton, cream cheese and full fat yogurt
  • Fatty meat, eg Lamb, beef, Processed meat eg sausages corned beef, beefburgers, meat pies, tinned meat, fried eggs, all fish tinned in oil, smoked mackerel
  • Biscuits, especially digestives, cream or chocolate biscuits, hobnobs, cream cakes, marzipan, danishes, pastries, sponge cake
  • Crisps, nuts, bombay mix, low fat crisps, chips
  • Chocolate, toffee, fudge, coconut
  • Fruit pies & crumbles, milk puddings, ice cream, gateaux
  • Pastry foods eg quiche, oil-based salad dressings e.g vinaigrette, mayonnaise, cream or cheese sauces, gravy (made with the fat or juices from the meat), creamy dips, hummour, avocados, & creamy soups

Unfortunatly for me I have to check this list against the list of things the docs recommend you avoid eating during pregnancy. eg the dietitian recommended that I eat shell fish as an alternative to processed or fatty meats but of course these are off the menu when you are pregnant... I was please to see I can still eat Marshmallows though :o) thank the Gods for small mercies.

So from now on it is vegetables, steamed rice and skinless chicken for me... I'll keep you posted on my progress

Sunday, 25 July 2010

A Question of Faith

Today I am 25 weeks pregnant!
Where has the time gone???
It has been a bit of a baby related day today as Hubby and I attended the Catholic Baptism of another recent addition to his family. This provoked a lot of discussion on our part as to the importance of welcoming ceremonies for newborns and also brought up questions about the role of the god parents (or guardians)
When my daughter was born (8 years ago) I had a much smaller pagan community around me but I still held my ground with non-pagan family and friends and refused to have her christened. There were a lot of people who felt it would be the "right" thing to do and some others who didn't really perceive that I had a choice - Baptism was simply what you did after a child was born.
Still I could not bring myself to make promises for myself and for my child which I did not fully believe and so we opted for a naming ceremony and I am so glad that I stuck to my guns. The naming was personal and moving and also acknowledged the 6 friends whom my daughters father and I had chosen to be her "Fairy God Parents".
Hubby and I will host a similar ceremony for this new life some time after he or she is born but now that we are more well versed in such things we will probably lead the ceremony ourselves. This child will also be granted 6 "Fairy God Parents" and will be ceremonially welcomed into the circle of our family and friends. We may opt to ask our own personal deities to watch of the child but we will at not be ritually bringing the child into a particular religion ( that is something they can choose when they are ready)

Monday, 19 July 2010

When will it end???

Had another bad night with Gastritus on friday. I'd had a lovely girly evening with my sister-in-law but I'd had niggling pains throughout the evening. When I got home I popped a couple of Gaviscon (as suggested by the Docs) and paced about waiting for the pains to go. The pains never got worse but they didn't get better either :o(

Saturday night I had another horrible attack, crippling cramps in my stomach (across my diagphram) followed by sickness. Hubby was fabulous, he is such a level head in these circumstances. Eventually the pain and sickness subsided and I could get some sleep.

Sunday night brought another set of unbearable cramps and I was sick until I could be sick no more :o( I ws tired and in pain and, I will admit, more than a little scared as I really couldn't see an end to the pain this time and I began to panic...

In the end I gave in and asked Hubby to take me into A&E. Once again my knight in shining Mondeo came to my rescue and got me to hospital in record time (all good practice for the birth I keep telling myself)

Once there I do have to commend the emergency staff who saw me straight away (no 3 hour wait - yay!) was given an IV and dosed up with a drip feed of liquid paracetamol which must have been good as I fell asleep :o)

On waking I was still in pain though (although not nearly as bad as when I had arrived) so they gave me a dose of Ranitidine through my IV which seemed to work

Eventually (5am monday morning) I was discharged with a prescription for Ranitidine tablets.

I REALLY hope that we have cracked it this time :o)

Fingers crossed!

Friday, 9 July 2010

Consultant Meeting

Today was my "consultation" at the hospital with the "specialist" about my home birth, because the midwife who did my booking in appointment (not the midwife I have now by the way) , said that my BMI was concerning if I wanted a home birth.

So off we trot to the maternity ward today to pee on a stick and have my blood pressure taken ( all fine ) they then listen to the beans heart ( also fine ) then we sit about for nearly an hour waiting to be seen by the specialist.

She begins by telling me that she doesn't know why I’m there this early in my pregnancy as she can't make a firm decision until I’m about 35 weeks!!!!

Then she says that I would need a BMI of less than 30 to have a safe home birth and that because Eloise was over 8lb they would be concerned about me having a large baby this time too.

I said that I didn’t care what they said and that I still wanted a home birth as I did not have a good experience at the hospital last time and...

So now they want me to see a councillor to deal with my latent birth trauma.

I just felt like they were not willing to accept anything I said and they just want to prove that a hospital birth would be best and that I can be “fixed” in some way to want a hospital birth.

Saturday, 26 June 2010

20 Week Scan

So glad that we had a different lady doing the scan today, she was much more gentle with me :o)

Pictures to follow, once I have fixed our scanner

Monday, 21 June 2010

Sick... again

Another bout of sickness and cramping today, Hubby called the midwife who said she doesn't think it is a pregnancy symptom and to see the doctor.

As it's sunday we call the HantsDoc out of hours team and they asked me to see them.

The doc suspects I have gastritis and has recommended a few dietary changes.

I have to see my own doctor in the week to get some medicine for it.

ADDITION - 21/06/10
***The doc has given me Gaviscon to settle me so hopefully I should be better from now on***

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Midwife Appointment

I saw the midwife today (not the same one from before though - she has left the practice)

Everything seems ok and she doesn't want to see me again until I am 28 weeks (when I'll need Anti-D injections because I'm RhNeg)

She seems to think a home birth should be fine as long as I stay healthy and there are no more complications.

Monday, 14 June 2010

Tonight I went to bed about 9pm and suddenly got the same crampy pains as before across the top of my stomach under my ribs.

I tried to walk it off like before thinking that I would just be sick again and that would be that.

But this time I was sick and the pain did not go away. Also hubby was at work and my daughter was in bed.

I called my mum and she said to call NHS Direct which I did and my mum came over at the same time.NHS Direct said to go to A&E so off we go... Me, My mum & dad & my daughter who refused to stay home with J & E (our lodgers) becuase she didn't want to miss anything.

At A&E I was seen quite quickly and was put on a drip in case I was dehydrated and they took the usual array of blood and pee to test.

I was pretty worried that they would make me stay in over night but luckilly once i was moved over to the maternity ward I was seen by the on call gyno who gave me the all clear to go home :o)

Still didn't really know what was wrong with me though

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Second Trimester Sickness

Had a horrible bout of stomach cramps today...

They lasted for about half and hour of me trying to walk them off and ended with me getting a hot flush followed by a cold sweat and being sick :(

I did feel better afterwards but it is scary to feel that sick without knowing why

Friday, 21 May 2010

Work Worries

I had a meeting today with work and it has been agreed that for the safety and well being of "the bean" I can't perform my regular duties at work.

However at the moment there are no alternative duties for me to perform so for the time being I am on leave and waiting for them to find me another possition within the company.

Friday, 14 May 2010

I had a bit of a rude awakening today from a health point of view as I sat at work (when I'm not performing my priestess duties I work for a drinks manufacture in R&D as part of a sensory panel) tasting cup after cup of freshly ground coffee. I thought I'd see how much I was actually drinking.

Now when I first fell pregnant I discussed the issues with caffeine with my occupational health dept at work and they said I should stick to one mouthful from every drink and then spit the rest out. A bit grim but it meant I could continue doing my job.

Well it was only when I sat and worked out exactly how much caffeine I was consuming (even with only one mouthful from every cup) it turned out that in the 3 hours I had been at work I had drunk over half a litre of strong coffee (way over the recommended “cup and a half per day”)

...So, I know that this can’t continue, I’m just not sure what options I have at the mo...

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Nuchal Scan

I don't think I have ever felt more like a piece of meat!!!

I was in such pain today after our nuchal scan, the woman who performed it was really rough and quite abrupt which somewhat spoilt what should have been a beautiful and special milestone for us.

Not only that but when I complained that it hurt she said it was because my BMI was too high and so it was hard to scan me...

Now I know that I am a curvy gal but I just felt that her rude nature was really uncalled for.

*ok rant over*

Never the less we have been able to see "the bean" jumping and diving about inside me now, 2 arms, 2 legs and all the right bits in between and have been told that our chance of a Downs baby is minimal.

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Bumps, Mums & Dads

Hubby & I went to the local "Bumps, Mums & Dads" Group today.

Run by the local sure start centre we have signed up for a FREE 4 week course in parenting basics.

Everything from how Dad's can bond with their bubas to what breast milk is made from :o)

I felt the first pangs of "bump-envie" as we entered the room to find 4 other couples all of whom were in their last trimester - lol! but I have all that to look forward to....

Friday, 2 April 2010

Booking In

Another milestone reached....

I had my booking in appointment with my Midwife who was really lovely. she went through a lot of the options which are available to me and I came away feeling very positive about the whole thing.

I'll get seen again in week 12 for my Nuchal Scan...

Can't wait to see the little bean again :o)

Monday, 22 March 2010

Seeing is Beleiving

After a horribly long weeks wait for my scan we were today treated to our first glimpse of the little bean.

I had a tummy scan first which showed the bean was in the right place (they were concerned that my pains were caused by an ectopic implantation)

This was followed by an internal scan (not the most dignigied thing but not as uncomfortable as I'd expected) this checked for ovarian cysts and gave a more detailed view of the bean.

We could see Bean's little heart beating away and the obstetrician confirmed that I am 8 weeks pregnant.

I was sad that we didn't get a scan picture though, they had run out of paper! argh!!!

Friday, 19 March 2010

Still In Pain

I was back at the doc's today as the pain has not got any better.

They are referring me to the EPAU (Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit) for a scan to make sure all is well with the little bean.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Aches & Pains

Having got away so far with just some nausea (but no actually sickness) and a bit of tiredness I was quite worried when I began to get period like pains in my abdomen this week.

By Friday the pain was getting quite bad so Hubby suggested I call NHS Direct, they sent me straight to A&E who tested me for urine infections and gave me the all clear.

But the mysterious pains are still there :(

Tuesday, 2 March 2010


We had booked this appointment a couple of weeks ago and were planning to have health checks and tell the doc that we were trying for a baby. However given the positive test on Saturday we just used this appointment to tell the doctor that I am pregnant :o)

He has confirmed my due date and organised my Booking In Appointment with the Midwife for the 1st of April.

I have to say I was rather impressed by the GP's attitude, he seemed very laid back about the whole thing as he is one of those rare health professionals who doesn't think that pregnancy is an illness :o)

Monday, 1 March 2010

Full Moon Thanks

Today was another Full Moon and Hubby and I held a small intimate ritual to give thanks for the seed of life which now grows within my womb. We lit a new large candle and have said that we will light the candle every Full Moon until the child is born.

Sunday, 28 February 2010

Testing, Testing

With my period now 5 days late and not a pre-menstrual cramp in sight we tested again (this time with a "First Response" test not a "Tesco" own brand one)

I couldn't watch whilst the liquid crept slowly across the view panel of the test, I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't mind what the outcome was, and that it was unlikely to be positive after having got a negative result only a few days before.

The minutes seemed like hours as we both waited...

"Well what does it say?" I ask Hubby,
"It's got two lines!" he says.

I am sure he wasn't even sure himself if that was a good thing or a bad thing to start with.

I, the strong, empowered female, made an utter fool of myself by squealing like a piggy and then bursting in to tears...

Friday, 26 February 2010

Birthday's & Baby Blues

Today is Hubby's birthday (he's 39) and as there is still no sign of Aunt Flo we decided to do a test.

So after the awkward wait (whilst I'm sure all he can think is "she just peed on that stick!") we look only to find that it is NEGATIVE!!!

What a blow to our birthday excitement, I was truly gutted but we just told ourselves that we had just been too busy this month and that we would give it another go next month.

We went out to Wagamama's for diner with the little lady in tow who ironically pointed out that it should be called Wagapapa's today for her Papa's birthday.... Out of the mouths of babes :)

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Over Due & Over Excited

My period was due today and nothing has happened yet :) fingers (and legs) crossed...

Friday, 19 February 2010

Keeping Busy

There has been plenty to distract us from our baby making mission this month.

Aside from the day to day stuff like work and school and shopping all 3 of our cats have had to go to the vets to be "done" (we spent a large part of last summer with 7 kittens running around the house and don't really want to repeat that experience), we also have a Valentines meal to go to with friends and it's Hubby's birthday on the 25th.

Before the birthday celebrations though I am off to enjoy a weekend retreat in the New Forest with 20 or so other Pagan friends and I can't wait for the chance to relax and chill out.

Monday, 1 February 2010

More Disappointment

My period started......

But in an effort to take something positive away from this I tell myself that at least I was bang on the date I was due according to the hormonal forecaster which must mean that since stopping the pill my cycles have settled back to normal again which must surely raise my chances of conception in the future.

Sunday, 31 January 2010

More Moon Magick

I'll admit to being a little hopeful on the night of the full moon this month I have been feeling a bit "icky" and pretty tired too so it fell to Hubby to lead the ritual this Full Moon. He did a grand job of re-affirming our intentions and honouring our Gods.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

Disappointing Discoveries

Too much knowledge can be a bad thing... I have spent a lot of time recently looking up pregnancy statistics on the internet and basically worrying myself with all the things I find:

I drink a lot of caffeine (and I mean a LOT) but it is part of my job (I work in drinks R&D) this will apparently deplete my chances of getting pregnant:

"One widely reported study found that taking in more than "moderate amounts" of caffeine can lower your likelihood of conceiving by as much as 27 per cent compared to women with low caffeine intakes (Hatch and Bracken 1993). Moderate amounts, in this case, were the equivalent of two cups of coffee a day or four cups of tea or five cans of cola, which works out at about 200 milligrams (mg). In this study, even modest consumption appeared to hinder conception, with women who drank only one to two cups daily lowering their chances of conceiving by 10 per cent."

I then found out that...
"There was a study published in the British Medical Journal that found that very lean women and very obese women (BMI >38) had lower conception rates. However, body fat distribution was found to have a greater impact. Women with a high waist-hip ratio had greater trouble conceiving -- so being shaped like an apple is not as good for conception as being shaped like a pear."

Thank goodness I am more pear than apple!

Add to this the fact that I just turned 30 and I'm trying to conceive with a man pushing 40 and my odds of a baby this year started looking bleak...

... Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, I got my period ;(

Friday, 1 January 2010

Ritualising Our Desires

31st of December is a special day for us anyway, it is the day we got together back in 2005. This year is extra special though as it is also a Full Moon, & a Blue Moon! We decided to perform a ritual together to affirm our desires to our Gods and to send a message out into the universe that we were ready to accept another child into our lives. The ritual was beautiful and moving and we plan to repeat our affirmations at every Full Moon.